Hopping on the F#*k Lane Kiffin Bandwagon

Throughout his Head Coaching career, I've always given Lane Kiffin the benefit of the doubt.

When all of Gator Nation was in an uproar because Kiffin said, "I look forward to singing Rocky Top all night long after beating Florida next year" in his first press conference at UT, I defended Kiffin. That's one of Tennessee's biggest rivals. It's not offensive to say that one of your goals is to beat your rival--who was also the SEC's top dog at the time. Florida fans were just being over sensitive on that one. You want that kind of competitive spirit from your Coach.

When Kiffin left UT before the end of his second season for USC, I defended him again. If given the option of making millions working in Knoxville or making millions working in LA, how many people out there are really choosing Tennessee? 

When Kiffin called out Urban Meyer for reported recruiting violations, I defended him again. That’s just part of the game. Anything to win.

This year, though, Lane's shenanigans have really left a sour taste in my mouth.

First, it was the dismissive way he walked off in the middle of an interview with USC student reporters. A straight dick move. Those are just kids, man. You can't expect them to be seasoned journalists and they didn't even ask him anything that was out of bounds or anything. He was just being a jerk for no reason.

Then, there was the cheap, tacky move of switching his back up QB's jersey with the punter’s to get an edge on running a trick play on an extra point attempt. 

Football players are covered from head to toe in protective gear. You can't recognize an opposing player by their appearance as easily as you can in a sport like basketball. Even more so since basketball teams carry 12 man rosters compared to 53 in football.

That would be a cheesy move during a marquee matchup. But Kiffin didn't instruct his players to run the slight of hand against Oregon or Texas or even cross town rival UCLA. No, he had them pull the wool over the eyes of Colorado, one of the worst FBS schools in the country.

His latest antic was throwing his team's equipment manager under the bus after instructing him to deflate footballs during their game vs Oregon last Saturday--making them easier to throw, catch and run with. I feel complete comfortable making that accusation. There's not a chance in hell that the equipment manager was acting on his own, as Kiffin told the media after dismissing him from the team. College Football and basketball coaches, especially the big programs, are dictators whose power and control rival that of Kim Jong Ill's. Nothing happens without their knowledge.

It doesn't really bother me that he threw the student manager under the bus. Buddy took one for the team, fell on the USC Trojan sword so to speak. And I'm sure someone at USC hooked him up with a nice little severance package for leaving peacefully and keeping his mouth shut. 

It's the fact that Lane Kiffin would stoop to these tactics to win an "armature" football game.¹ 

It was the straw that broke the camel's back for me on the growing list of Kiffin’s shenanigans. Guy's like Les Miles--who Boami Jones calls "Coach Fuck It"--is known for the fake punts and field goals, going for it on fourth down, and other risky play calls that most coaches would never have the balls to call. Those are trick plays, though. Risk plays, not these shady swindler moves that Lane keeps pulling. 

What's next for this guy? Giving his defensive linemen powdered glass to blow in the offensive lines eyes before the snap? Calling in bomb threats to the opposing team's hotel room in the middle of the night to prevent them from sleeping? Tear gas in the visiting locker room at halftime? 

As over the top as all those examples are, none would shock me if Kiffin did them. In fact, at this point, I would be more shocked if he didn’t pull one those moves over the next 14 months.

The most tragic part of it all is that he's dragging his father's name through the mud with. Monty Kiffin was a legendary Defensive Coordinator in the NFL. He, along with Tony Dungy, created the "Tampa 2" scheme that was the defensive antidote to Bill Walsh's West Coast offense.

Monty passed up several NFL head coaching offers before taking a pretty significant step back by agreeing to be the Defensive Coordinator at Tennessee, and then USC, to fulfill a dream of coaching alongside his son.  

It's one thing to ruin your own name, but tarnishing your father's legacy while doing it, that's just indefensible.

I was the voice of reason for you, Lane. I was the guy taking emotion out of it, looking at things objectively, defending you against the masses. But you lost me, Lane. You forced me to jump on the Lane Kiffin bash-wagon where we tour the country chanting "Fuck Lane Kiffin! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)"

We can only hope that this paragraph is omitted from your fathers Wiki page.

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1 It should be noted that none of this would be happening if the officials didn't bust USC mid game on Saturday. It's not as if this was brought to Lane's attention and then he nipped it in the bud.